{9:22am; 1.21.22}

I fell in love with the possibility of you

Of us

Of one I could trust

As a fiancé, a friend, a lover, a man

I fell out of love with the reality of you

Of us

Cuz I couldn’t trust

The abuser, the fighter, the liar, the man

I fell in love with the possibility

That I could change you

Remake you, fully overtake you

By making myself small and calling it love

But I rose to the reality

That I was changed by you

Remade, fully overtaken

By beating me and calling it love

My super power,

I see the possibility in broken things

Broken people, broken ideals

Until reality broke me

Reality, my kryptonite

But God,

He loves the reality of who we are

Sinner, wretched, poor, alone

God, the One I can trust

Healing impossible wounds

Delivering impossible demons

Feeding impossible crowds

Filling impossible wombs

Taking ashes and making them beautiful

Redeeming souls who beat —

And get beaten

Reminding ones caught in their reality

—that—

All things are possible for those who believe

Now, I love the reality of you

Because I love my enemies

And I love the reality of what we were

The abused; the abuser

And I believe the great God

Whose beautiful Name is Jesus

Will heal

The impossibility of me

that got changed by you

And I believe in Jesus

Whose beautiful name is Love

I must,

Trust

That He will remake me

In the most tender of ways, overtake me

For With God, all things are possible,

—I am a possibility.

This poem was prompted by the word, possibility. So many women, myself included, that got caught/get caught in intimate partner violence see the potential and possibility in their partners but ignore the realities.

If you find yourself currently in a dangerous relationship, seek help and call 1.800.799.7233

My traumatic abuse took place 33 years ago. There is healing. It is a reality. May the Lord remind you that YOU are a possibility.

Godspeed on your journey toward hope and healing.